All your words are blasphemy, ignoring His words of wisdom, ignoring His sacrifice. You think that there's no chance for you anymore because it is obviously much easier to sit in a corner playing the martyr than trying to fix you up!.
But what would happen if this was your last chance to change?. Would you let all of your wounds heal?. Will you sit quietly, listening while He works in silence?. shhhh....listen, He's working quietly, 'cuz He knows that you were born with a purpose.
He had turned your sins into dust, now it's time to rise from your own ashes...and unveil your wings my angel.......
~ alex.
Friday, August 26, 2011
He's anything but.....
Like the most infectious plague, digging under rocks, finding new victims. His name?...well, he's a master of disguise, with many 'alter-egos'. Just keep your eyes wide open, it's easy to fall for his game(or his 'job').....
..........His job?....I can not say he's an amateur at what he does;manipulator, player, liar-yet charming, articulate, flawless, just a 'perfect prospect'....IN THE FLESH!. 'Cuz on the inside, he's rotten to the core!.
Personally, I have a name for him....MISTAKE!. But, the story it's way too complicated(and embarrassing) to tell, so, let's say I've been to hell and back.....
But,him?...it's like he was born for this,so he won't sit and rest waiting for his next victim to 'arrive'....he's out there, like a despitefull beast, he would be hunting,merciless. Remember,he's still out there...and it's still hungers..........
~ alex.
..........His job?....I can not say he's an amateur at what he does;manipulator, player, liar-yet charming, articulate, flawless, just a 'perfect prospect'....IN THE FLESH!. 'Cuz on the inside, he's rotten to the core!.
Personally, I have a name for him....MISTAKE!. But, the story it's way too complicated(and embarrassing) to tell, so, let's say I've been to hell and back.....
But,him?...it's like he was born for this,so he won't sit and rest waiting for his next victim to 'arrive'....he's out there, like a despitefull beast, he would be hunting,merciless. Remember,he's still out there...and it's still hungers..........
~ alex.
In a not too distant future, you will be missed.
After all the guests had left, that's when the real show begins. And I'm the only witness to this pathetic drama. Just you, sat up drunk, can't even walk anywhere. Drowning disapproval while inflicting pain, with no remorse that you're not the only one getting hurt. You always find ways to justify your urge for booze, unwilling to quit, always lashing out at everyone around you when, quite frankly, you are the one that's wrong. It's a shame that you have turned this cynical, mercenary practice in your daily routine. Watching your atrocities every day, just giving up for a false sense of peace; it may seem harmless to you, but it's actually, painful to watch.....
........So, where are your 'friends' now?. They have become the shadows of your misery. Now, laying in your bed, trying to get some sleep, but you can't 'cuz you don't have your antidote, your painkiller. Shell-shocked, staring at the ceiling, condemned, tied down to that prison you call a bed, begging for God to take you away.......ironic, isnt?. During your entire life you have done nothing but laughing to His face...now look who's having the last laugh......
~ alex.
........So, where are your 'friends' now?. They have become the shadows of your misery. Now, laying in your bed, trying to get some sleep, but you can't 'cuz you don't have your antidote, your painkiller. Shell-shocked, staring at the ceiling, condemned, tied down to that prison you call a bed, begging for God to take you away.......ironic, isnt?. During your entire life you have done nothing but laughing to His face...now look who's having the last laugh......
~ alex.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Late for your own funeral
Counting scars instead of stars, faking happiness while sharping your knife. Alive on the outside but dead inside, but what you dont realize is that blood wont satisfy your 'thirst' for freedom.
With tears ruunning down your face, throwing away your chances to be free. Walking away, leaving me with all these words unsaid. you're trying to reach something that's been always right next to you....FREEDOM. But you have to let go of the past before it's too late, and start taking steps in the right direction. You are trying to reach your knife when you should be trying to reach for LIFE!. You obviously wont listen,this is the life you have chosen.........
...............so hurry up &...WAIT!.... you're going to be late for your own funeral.
~alex.
With tears ruunning down your face, throwing away your chances to be free. Walking away, leaving me with all these words unsaid. you're trying to reach something that's been always right next to you....FREEDOM. But you have to let go of the past before it's too late, and start taking steps in the right direction. You are trying to reach your knife when you should be trying to reach for LIFE!. You obviously wont listen,this is the life you have chosen.........
...............so hurry up &...WAIT!.... you're going to be late for your own funeral.
~alex.
Heartbreak (live through it)
Breaking the awkward silence between us, because all I can hear are the echoes of all of our dreams, they have become nightmares that keep me awake at night.
In the abscense of sanity, this healing process seems eternal, while disenchantment grows stronger, it doesnt matter how much time passes; not even days,weeks,months,years nor decades will be enough to heal this broken, stubborn heart that's still 'out there' waiting for you......so out in the open yet so overlooked. But I guess this is what a heartbreak feels like. As an unbridled outburst of uncontrollable emotions, like the saddest, most dramatic scene of all times.....the best way to represent the end of my innocense. I can not say I didnt saw this coming....but sometimes DENIAL could be your worst enemy...........
~ alex.
In the abscense of sanity, this healing process seems eternal, while disenchantment grows stronger, it doesnt matter how much time passes; not even days,weeks,months,years nor decades will be enough to heal this broken, stubborn heart that's still 'out there' waiting for you......so out in the open yet so overlooked. But I guess this is what a heartbreak feels like. As an unbridled outburst of uncontrollable emotions, like the saddest, most dramatic scene of all times.....the best way to represent the end of my innocense. I can not say I didnt saw this coming....but sometimes DENIAL could be your worst enemy...........
~ alex.
The Glam Syndrome
In a world where words and feelings are meaningless, where not being flawless could be your biggest fashion mistake, and those who are considered as 'likeable people' are just 'glamour models', working in the 'hunger business'.
For some reason, this is the world where I live in. But I dont live by 'their' rules even when the rest of the world doesnt agree with me. They live their lives by starving themselves to death, humilliating others, up-lifting their egos...and call it a day. I've tried to emulate them, but I just cant see myself represented on them. It was just absurd......but thats just the 'human condition'.
To me, it's a matter of personal preference, 'where would you rather be?'....I really dont know,but, for safety reasons,I rather stay away bfrom that 'egocentric, hyped-up,fake' -so called 'human beings'- and just sit back, laughing at their fakeness, 'cuz at the end of the road, getting 'infected' with the 'glam syndrome', it's like playing hide-and-seek with death.....it's a game you will never win. Not only it's absurd....IT'S SUICIDAL!!!!!!!
Surprisingly, I have found a few people that agree with me; people with brains and feelings.....and that just says it all.......................
.......................'cuz, really, being 'cold-hearted'?............that's something you can do when you're dead.
~ alex.
For some reason, this is the world where I live in. But I dont live by 'their' rules even when the rest of the world doesnt agree with me. They live their lives by starving themselves to death, humilliating others, up-lifting their egos...and call it a day. I've tried to emulate them, but I just cant see myself represented on them. It was just absurd......but thats just the 'human condition'.
To me, it's a matter of personal preference, 'where would you rather be?'....I really dont know,but, for safety reasons,I rather stay away bfrom that 'egocentric, hyped-up,fake' -so called 'human beings'- and just sit back, laughing at their fakeness, 'cuz at the end of the road, getting 'infected' with the 'glam syndrome', it's like playing hide-and-seek with death.....it's a game you will never win. Not only it's absurd....IT'S SUICIDAL!!!!!!!
Surprisingly, I have found a few people that agree with me; people with brains and feelings.....and that just says it all.......................
.......................'cuz, really, being 'cold-hearted'?............that's something you can do when you're dead.
~ alex.
The Awakening
As I open my eyes, I found myself among all this chaos caused by twisted, and suicidal thoughts (and attempts).......I hear a voice, one that I never heared before, it's calling my name, but I dont know where does it come from?. This is a strong, thunderous, yet loving voice, and the words are holy.....why I feel this way all of the sudden?. Why I have to keep listening to this voice that says, "stay, it's not worth it", why?. When all that I want it's to dissapear, to escape from this world.
- "I must be having an extremely over active imagination", I thought. But I'm still listening to this voice and it sounds so peaceful, so lovely, and all of those thoughts of pain and suicide start to fade away. I start feeling something that I've never felt before......hope, faith, and freedom.
So this is it.......My Awakening, I have found my savior, and I'm not planning on going back to that dark place again. I'm staying here, 'cuz it's not worth moving. I'm in the right place. So I have learned, from my painful crisis, to count my blessings. This is my confession. And the price I pay for breaking the silence is my salvation. So, I say 'so long' to my old self, to that self-indulgent behaviour and thoughts 'cuz I have no fear anymore. That fear was my prisoner, in that tomb of loneliness, hate, and despair. This is the new 'me', with brand new eyes.....
*note: this is not something to 'preach' about, it is actually my life, whether you believe it or not, I just wanted to share it with the people I love the most(and those who really need to read this before it's too late). It doesnt matter who you are, or what(or who) you believe in; trust me, life it's not a fairytale, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, so dont give up, it's not worth it.......
~ alex.
- "I must be having an extremely over active imagination", I thought. But I'm still listening to this voice and it sounds so peaceful, so lovely, and all of those thoughts of pain and suicide start to fade away. I start feeling something that I've never felt before......hope, faith, and freedom.
So this is it.......My Awakening, I have found my savior, and I'm not planning on going back to that dark place again. I'm staying here, 'cuz it's not worth moving. I'm in the right place. So I have learned, from my painful crisis, to count my blessings. This is my confession. And the price I pay for breaking the silence is my salvation. So, I say 'so long' to my old self, to that self-indulgent behaviour and thoughts 'cuz I have no fear anymore. That fear was my prisoner, in that tomb of loneliness, hate, and despair. This is the new 'me', with brand new eyes.....
*note: this is not something to 'preach' about, it is actually my life, whether you believe it or not, I just wanted to share it with the people I love the most(and those who really need to read this before it's too late). It doesnt matter who you are, or what(or who) you believe in; trust me, life it's not a fairytale, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, so dont give up, it's not worth it.......
~ alex.
The Blood Violin Symphony
With blood in my hands, stabbing the pain and suffering in my life,begging for someone to suck out this venom thats torturing me.Severely scarred and bruised, drawing a perfect suicide design. making good my escape.....and down I go, from something to nothing, from life to death, broken down in a million pieces. This is the price I have to pay for trusting on empty words. All of those words had become the tomb to every hope I had. But Im still searching for an exit line.....
........waiting for a chance to explain myself. But words cant explain how I feel, its a weird feeling of emptiness....hopeless and helpless......yeah, thats exactly how it feels to be me, I have lost myself, drowning in my pain, where no one can hear me cry, no one can hear me scream. So afraid of being alone, so afraid of myself, cuz I know what Im capable of when I feel like theres no escape. In those moments when I loose my faith, and no pain can aompare to this, cuz its literally like someone ripped and tear your heart apart. Thats exactly how it feels. A deep wound caused by all those words unsaid....but its too late for that now....this is it, all that remains,physical wounds that are deeper than the wounds in my heart.
But just by playing this symphony all the pain seems to dissapear. And now whats left?. Red stains on white sheets, dry tears on my face......and the Blood Violin Symphony keeps on playing, and I'm getting obsessed with it's melancholic, yet deep sound. Sounds sharp and hurtful. But, who will clean all of this mess?. Blood dripping all over and a broken heart. And this melody makes me feel numb, and I fell in a deep sleep, but, will I ever be awake again?.............
........waiting for a chance to explain myself. But words cant explain how I feel, its a weird feeling of emptiness....hopeless and helpless......yeah, thats exactly how it feels to be me, I have lost myself, drowning in my pain, where no one can hear me cry, no one can hear me scream. So afraid of being alone, so afraid of myself, cuz I know what Im capable of when I feel like theres no escape. In those moments when I loose my faith, and no pain can aompare to this, cuz its literally like someone ripped and tear your heart apart. Thats exactly how it feels. A deep wound caused by all those words unsaid....but its too late for that now....this is it, all that remains,physical wounds that are deeper than the wounds in my heart.
But just by playing this symphony all the pain seems to dissapear. And now whats left?. Red stains on white sheets, dry tears on my face......and the Blood Violin Symphony keeps on playing, and I'm getting obsessed with it's melancholic, yet deep sound. Sounds sharp and hurtful. But, who will clean all of this mess?. Blood dripping all over and a broken heart. And this melody makes me feel numb, and I fell in a deep sleep, but, will I ever be awake again?.............
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