............is that even possible?.....well, I think they are both possible, but not at the same time. Why?....Because both of them are part of an entire Healing Process. You have to forgive in order to forget.......and that my friend, it takes time.
So, whether you were the one who screwed everything up or the 'innocent victim'-it doesnt matter-you will have to wait!. Now, lets analyze both viewpoints......
If you were the a*hole that thinks that a simple "Im sorry" will fix everything-just ask yourself: "How will you react if you were the one who got hurt?", "Will you forgive and forget that easily?"-no,right?-So, my advice to you, say your most sincere apology and let time heal all of those wounds that your actions caused.
Now, if you were the one who got hurt....well, the same advice goes to you-yes, cuz its really easy to judge but, sometimes, we end up hurting the people we love the most-so,think about it-then, give yourself time(all the time you need,no rush; if that a*hole really loves you,he'll wait).
So, lets say you have a HUGE heart and in fact,forgive the douchebag;now, did you really forgot what he did?. The fact that you forgive doesnt necessarily mean that you forget; cuz forgiving someone means that you can still remember that-'WTV' happened-and dont feel that anger anymore,you can still have those memories and, even though they are hurtful,they dont 'haunt' you anymore-You're free!.
I would describe it as a 'cathartic process'; cuz, not only you're making that jerk who hurt you feel a lot better, you're healing your emotional wounds as well........its a 'win-win situation'!
So, in my opinion, that whole 'forgetting' part,its completely unnecessary; because if you forget EVERYTHING that happened,then chances are, it will happeb again in the future(yes...cuz you let your guard down...)
So, my advice:FORGIVE,DO NOT FORGET.....BUT DONT LET THOSE MEMORIES F*CK WITH YOUR MIND!................as simple as that!..........
~ alex.
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