As I open my eyes, I found myself among all this chaos caused by twisted, and suicidal thoughts (and attempts).......I hear a voice, one that I never heared before, it's calling my name, but I dont know where does it come from?. This is a strong, thunderous, yet loving voice, and the words are holy.....why I feel this way all of the sudden?. Why I have to keep listening to this voice that says, "stay, it's not worth it", why?. When all that I want it's to dissapear, to escape from this world.
- "I must be having an extremely over active imagination", I thought. But I'm still listening to this voice and it sounds so peaceful, so lovely, and all of those thoughts of pain and suicide start to fade away. I start feeling something that I've never felt before......hope, faith, and freedom.
So this is it.......My Awakening, I have found my savior, and I'm not planning on going back to that dark place again. I'm staying here, 'cuz it's not worth moving. I'm in the right place. So I have learned, from my painful crisis, to count my blessings. This is my confession. And the price I pay for breaking the silence is my salvation. So, I say 'so long' to my old self, to that self-indulgent behaviour and thoughts 'cuz I have no fear anymore. That fear was my prisoner, in that tomb of loneliness, hate, and despair. This is the new 'me', with brand new eyes.....
*note: this is not something to 'preach' about, it is actually my life, whether you believe it or not, I just wanted to share it with the people I love the most(and those who really need to read this before it's too late). It doesnt matter who you are, or what(or who) you believe in; trust me, life it's not a fairytale, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, so dont give up, it's not worth it.......
~ alex.
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