I close my eyes and see your face, here you are once again. Here, in the only place where we can meet, where no one can find us, no one can disturb our peace. Here you are just in time, like every night; once the sun goes down, I can feel your presence and hear your voice, whispering my name-"I am here my love, as I promised"-and we walk holding hands.
You are the answer to my prayers, My guardian angel. After all these years dreaming of you, you are finally here.....here to stay forever; Exactly how I've dreamed of.
So, theres no need to rush, no reason to be worried, because you are my angel sent from above. And even though we can only meet at night, in this secret place, I know it would only be a matter of time until we can be together forever. Cuz one day, you will show up-in front of everybody...thats going to be my confirmation that I have found my soulmate, the man of my DREAMS; and we will be happily ever after, anywhere else than here.....in MY DREAMS...........
~ alex.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
"Heart 's a Chatterbox."
These thoughts are torturing me!. Dont even know why they keep coming to my head, every night. Just here with my thoughts. It is a living nightmare. I just want to love again. But I cant. You dont let me. You keep my head and my mind busy every day and night with your 'ghost'. My heart still loves you, my mind still thinks about you.
After all you have done, and after all I have done to forget you. Nobody has been able to fill your shoes, nobody; is always some kind of 'imperfection', when nobody is perfect; I was under the impression that you were, I guess I still think the same way because I havent been able to find someone like you.
I pray every single night for someone to come and wake me up from this anymore, thinking about a ghost, thats what you are in my life: A Ghost. The ghost of my past....that doesnt want to go away, even when YOU have a life already. I cant. And, Im the only one to blame for being so weak, that weakness that doesnt allow me to carry on with my life. My heart keeps shouting your name, its frustrating, I just cant keep on like this.
-"Can somebody wake me up from this eternal nightmare?".- I beg-for someone to take me away from here........My mind knows that there IS someone there, my heart doesnt!........
~ alex.
After all you have done, and after all I have done to forget you. Nobody has been able to fill your shoes, nobody; is always some kind of 'imperfection', when nobody is perfect; I was under the impression that you were, I guess I still think the same way because I havent been able to find someone like you.
I pray every single night for someone to come and wake me up from this anymore, thinking about a ghost, thats what you are in my life: A Ghost. The ghost of my past....that doesnt want to go away, even when YOU have a life already. I cant. And, Im the only one to blame for being so weak, that weakness that doesnt allow me to carry on with my life. My heart keeps shouting your name, its frustrating, I just cant keep on like this.
-"Can somebody wake me up from this eternal nightmare?".- I beg-for someone to take me away from here........My mind knows that there IS someone there, my heart doesnt!........
~ alex.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Words of wisdom (and boredom) about....."EMOTIONS".
Some people think that the term "Emotions" has something to do with "Feelings"-well, it does not!. Emotions are just the reaction to that specific 'feeling'. Its that lil' voice inside your head asking: "How does this FEELING make me FEEL?".-I know, the dumbest question EVER!. But, if you think about it, it makes sense!.
Because the answer to that "DUMB" question-thats the meaning of "Emotions"!.
Ok, now lets go a lil' further.........How should we react to these 'Emotions'?...Well, my friend, that depends. Cuz if you are in love with someone(which its a feeling,not an emotion!), well, you feel the urge to be with that person 27/7-Literally attached ti him(her)!.........Now, if you react to that emotion(without thinking about it)-that could lead to: get arrested, being known as a 'pervert'(or a sl*t) for the rest of your life,a restriction order.........or all of the above!.
But, on the other hand, if you dont react AT ALL you are going to be remembered as loser, a low-life, a coward, being falsely accused of being 'gay'(or lesbian)..........or all the above!.
I know, its a complete mind-f*ck!. But its not that complicated-"Drop that knife, Emo!.I swear it its not!-ok.......now my advice: It is all about a key word: BALANCE...Because, like I mentioned on 'words of(...)about "feelings"...every emotion-taken to the extremes=CHAOS!..........You just have to find a 'happy medium'.....ok,how?......lets say you obviously cant be with that person 24/7,but you still want to let him(her) now how you feel. Use your imagination: whether its a letter,a song, a poem-or a Facebook post(which its kinda cheap-and overrated but WTV....); the thing is letting that person know that he(she) means a lot to you.("no,he/she doesnt mean EVERYTHING to you, dont say that!. You're obviously lying cuz you love your mom,right?...or your cat?...so, dont take it to the EXTREME,ok?"). And, once you do that, you would be proud of yourself for keeping your emotions under control.
And, before you ask,the same advice goes to the opposite feeling "HATE"-just dont even let it evoque an emotion on you-why?...Cuz its not worth it. That idiot who made your life a living hell is happy doing whatever with whoever,so, let it be...and "MOVE ON!"....I know its not easy AT ALL(trust me I know!) but its not impossible either. Show that S-O-B who's the bigger person and be happy......God bless................
~ alex.
Because the answer to that "DUMB" question-thats the meaning of "Emotions"!.
Ok, now lets go a lil' further.........How should we react to these 'Emotions'?...Well, my friend, that depends. Cuz if you are in love with someone(which its a feeling,not an emotion!), well, you feel the urge to be with that person 27/7-Literally attached ti him(her)!.........Now, if you react to that emotion(without thinking about it)-that could lead to: get arrested, being known as a 'pervert'(or a sl*t) for the rest of your life,a restriction order.........or all of the above!.
But, on the other hand, if you dont react AT ALL you are going to be remembered as loser, a low-life, a coward, being falsely accused of being 'gay'(or lesbian)..........or all the above!.
I know, its a complete mind-f*ck!. But its not that complicated-"Drop that knife, Emo!.I swear it its not!-ok.......now my advice: It is all about a key word: BALANCE...Because, like I mentioned on 'words of(...)about "feelings"...every emotion-taken to the extremes=CHAOS!..........You just have to find a 'happy medium'.....ok,how?......lets say you obviously cant be with that person 24/7,but you still want to let him(her) now how you feel. Use your imagination: whether its a letter,a song, a poem-or a Facebook post(which its kinda cheap-and overrated but WTV....); the thing is letting that person know that he(she) means a lot to you.("no,he/she doesnt mean EVERYTHING to you, dont say that!. You're obviously lying cuz you love your mom,right?...or your cat?...so, dont take it to the EXTREME,ok?"). And, once you do that, you would be proud of yourself for keeping your emotions under control.
And, before you ask,the same advice goes to the opposite feeling "HATE"-just dont even let it evoque an emotion on you-why?...Cuz its not worth it. That idiot who made your life a living hell is happy doing whatever with whoever,so, let it be...and "MOVE ON!"....I know its not easy AT ALL(trust me I know!) but its not impossible either. Show that S-O-B who's the bigger person and be happy......God bless................
~ alex.
Words of wisdom (and boredom) about....."FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS".
"Dont try this at home!"-that just really says it all.IT DOESNT WORK! It all starts as a "friendly" thing, you konw him(her) forever and you know "perfectly well" that he(she) will never get attached to you..............how do you know?!.
The thing is, it doesnt matter how long this 'relationship' lasts, one of you will end up getting hurt. Why?. Cuz we have 2 lil' backstabbers inside of us: 'feelings' and 'emotions'; and, if that "FWB" is really sweet(even loving) with you....it is almost impossible for you not to fall in love (specially us girls)...So, personally, I do not recommend this kind of 'friendly relationship' to anyone;But if you insist, then f*ck off!........Because, thats a 'recipe for disaster'!.
Not only you can loose that 'BFF', your 'partner in crime'-but also, you are taking a HUGE risk of getting your heart broken(or his/hers)-just for the heat of the moment,and I dont think its worth it. But then again, thats my personal opinion. Im just warning you some of the consequences of having a 'FWB' relationship......
...........Just BE CAREFUL,and most important, do not play with your FWB's feelings-Never!!!!!-Because you dont know if a simple hug or kiss........even just a word could be missunderstood by him(her),leading up to a broken heart.
My advice: Just dont mix friendship with...those kind of benefits!. Period!. Friendship is something thats soooooo 'underrated' these days cuz in reality finding a true friend its so difficult, that its not worth to put it at risk. But, if you still think its worth the risk, then maybe you dont deserve a friend like yours!......*sigh*..........."What a 'S-O-B'"..........
\
~ alex.
The thing is, it doesnt matter how long this 'relationship' lasts, one of you will end up getting hurt. Why?. Cuz we have 2 lil' backstabbers inside of us: 'feelings' and 'emotions'; and, if that "FWB" is really sweet(even loving) with you....it is almost impossible for you not to fall in love (specially us girls)...So, personally, I do not recommend this kind of 'friendly relationship' to anyone;But if you insist, then f*ck off!........Because, thats a 'recipe for disaster'!.
Not only you can loose that 'BFF', your 'partner in crime'-but also, you are taking a HUGE risk of getting your heart broken(or his/hers)-just for the heat of the moment,and I dont think its worth it. But then again, thats my personal opinion. Im just warning you some of the consequences of having a 'FWB' relationship......
...........Just BE CAREFUL,and most important, do not play with your FWB's feelings-Never!!!!!-Because you dont know if a simple hug or kiss........even just a word could be missunderstood by him(her),leading up to a broken heart.
My advice: Just dont mix friendship with...those kind of benefits!. Period!. Friendship is something thats soooooo 'underrated' these days cuz in reality finding a true friend its so difficult, that its not worth to put it at risk. But, if you still think its worth the risk, then maybe you dont deserve a friend like yours!......*sigh*..........."What a 'S-O-B'"..........
\
~ alex.
Words of wisdom (and boredom) about....."IM SORRY"
..........Those words seem to fixany damage,right?...well...NOT!!!!!!! Because people seem to forget-or they have no idea-what 'im sorry' means. It means,"Hey, I know I f*cked up, but I would NEVER make you go through that sh*it again"........Unfortunately, they say those exact words...but they f*ck everything up AGAIN!(.."hello!, you said NEVER AGAIN,remember?").
Sometimes, we hurt the ones we love the most and say "Im sorry", only to make the same mistake again later on(I've been in that place) because were not perfect-therefore, we make mistakes, but, we cant take advantage of that to play with someone else's feelings. That just makes you look like an a*hole!.
But, if you did some terrible damage in someone's heart,my advice: Say the most sincere "Im sorry"-EVER!-and wait, do not expect forgiveness right that second!(Check out my 'words of(...) about "Forgive and forget" for more blablabla on this topic).
However, even when you say "Im sorry" and your behaviour improves, and still that person doesnt want to forgive you........then, you know what?.......MOVE ON!!!! Cuz sometimes we get attached to someone and thats just unhealthy-not only for you-but for those who care about you-cuz they just want to see you happy.
So, if its time to 'fix' something(s) in your life.........start by saying "Im sorry" to YOURSELF!.......Yeah, cuz if you dont forgive yourself for-WTV- you have done, do not expect someone else's forgiveness..............
~ alex.
Sometimes, we hurt the ones we love the most and say "Im sorry", only to make the same mistake again later on(I've been in that place) because were not perfect-therefore, we make mistakes, but, we cant take advantage of that to play with someone else's feelings. That just makes you look like an a*hole!.
But, if you did some terrible damage in someone's heart,my advice: Say the most sincere "Im sorry"-EVER!-and wait, do not expect forgiveness right that second!(Check out my 'words of(...) about "Forgive and forget" for more blablabla on this topic).
However, even when you say "Im sorry" and your behaviour improves, and still that person doesnt want to forgive you........then, you know what?.......MOVE ON!!!! Cuz sometimes we get attached to someone and thats just unhealthy-not only for you-but for those who care about you-cuz they just want to see you happy.
So, if its time to 'fix' something(s) in your life.........start by saying "Im sorry" to YOURSELF!.......Yeah, cuz if you dont forgive yourself for-WTV- you have done, do not expect someone else's forgiveness..............
~ alex.
Words of wisdom (and boredom) about....."FORGIVE AND FORGET"
............is that even possible?.....well, I think they are both possible, but not at the same time. Why?....Because both of them are part of an entire Healing Process. You have to forgive in order to forget.......and that my friend, it takes time.
So, whether you were the one who screwed everything up or the 'innocent victim'-it doesnt matter-you will have to wait!. Now, lets analyze both viewpoints......
If you were the a*hole that thinks that a simple "Im sorry" will fix everything-just ask yourself: "How will you react if you were the one who got hurt?", "Will you forgive and forget that easily?"-no,right?-So, my advice to you, say your most sincere apology and let time heal all of those wounds that your actions caused.
Now, if you were the one who got hurt....well, the same advice goes to you-yes, cuz its really easy to judge but, sometimes, we end up hurting the people we love the most-so,think about it-then, give yourself time(all the time you need,no rush; if that a*hole really loves you,he'll wait).
So, lets say you have a HUGE heart and in fact,forgive the douchebag;now, did you really forgot what he did?. The fact that you forgive doesnt necessarily mean that you forget; cuz forgiving someone means that you can still remember that-'WTV' happened-and dont feel that anger anymore,you can still have those memories and, even though they are hurtful,they dont 'haunt' you anymore-You're free!.
I would describe it as a 'cathartic process'; cuz, not only you're making that jerk who hurt you feel a lot better, you're healing your emotional wounds as well........its a 'win-win situation'!
So, in my opinion, that whole 'forgetting' part,its completely unnecessary; because if you forget EVERYTHING that happened,then chances are, it will happeb again in the future(yes...cuz you let your guard down...)
So, my advice:FORGIVE,DO NOT FORGET.....BUT DONT LET THOSE MEMORIES F*CK WITH YOUR MIND!................as simple as that!..........
~ alex.
So, whether you were the one who screwed everything up or the 'innocent victim'-it doesnt matter-you will have to wait!. Now, lets analyze both viewpoints......
If you were the a*hole that thinks that a simple "Im sorry" will fix everything-just ask yourself: "How will you react if you were the one who got hurt?", "Will you forgive and forget that easily?"-no,right?-So, my advice to you, say your most sincere apology and let time heal all of those wounds that your actions caused.
Now, if you were the one who got hurt....well, the same advice goes to you-yes, cuz its really easy to judge but, sometimes, we end up hurting the people we love the most-so,think about it-then, give yourself time(all the time you need,no rush; if that a*hole really loves you,he'll wait).
So, lets say you have a HUGE heart and in fact,forgive the douchebag;now, did you really forgot what he did?. The fact that you forgive doesnt necessarily mean that you forget; cuz forgiving someone means that you can still remember that-'WTV' happened-and dont feel that anger anymore,you can still have those memories and, even though they are hurtful,they dont 'haunt' you anymore-You're free!.
I would describe it as a 'cathartic process'; cuz, not only you're making that jerk who hurt you feel a lot better, you're healing your emotional wounds as well........its a 'win-win situation'!
So, in my opinion, that whole 'forgetting' part,its completely unnecessary; because if you forget EVERYTHING that happened,then chances are, it will happeb again in the future(yes...cuz you let your guard down...)
So, my advice:FORGIVE,DO NOT FORGET.....BUT DONT LET THOSE MEMORIES F*CK WITH YOUR MIND!................as simple as that!..........
~ alex.
Words of wisdom (and boredom) about....."FEAR"
(means: "F*ck Everything And Run..........JK!)..........'Fear' can be described as 'lack of courage'; which its ironic cuz I heared once that "Courage its not the abscence of 'fear',it is the power to overcome that fear"......confusing,isnt?.......
..........So....wheres that power?. Somewhere inside of you,obviously, because every single human being has it(even the most 'crying lil' pus**es).
Personally, there are many thing in life that scare the living sh*t out of me, and sometimes I just dont want to do something because Im terrified of just dealing with circumstances in my life. For example,(believe it or not)I was actually a really shy person-thats why I've created this 'alter-ego', AlexSabelle-so I can speak my mind.....and get away with it!-LOL!.......
But, seriously, writing under some other 'identity'.......it has been really helpful for me. Cuz now,Im not THAT shy anymore, but Im taking lil' baby steps to overcome my shyness(...its that even a word?....WTV......)....
Ok,"my point is..........?"...That it doesnt matter what you're scared of, you have to face your fears, and try as hard as you can to overcome that fear, cuz otherwise, you will never accomplish anything in life!-harsh, but true!.(Trust me, you will be thankful in the future, si I'll give you a 'futuristic you're welcome'!).
So go ahead, START LIVING!. It is ok, even normal to be scared of something(or someone), but having the courage(or the power)to overcome that fear....it makes you stronger each day, and maybe someday you'll realize how much of an idiot you were for being such a pus*y!......JK!!!!!!!!!!!.
~ alex.
..........So....wheres that power?. Somewhere inside of you,obviously, because every single human being has it(even the most 'crying lil' pus**es).
Personally, there are many thing in life that scare the living sh*t out of me, and sometimes I just dont want to do something because Im terrified of just dealing with circumstances in my life. For example,(believe it or not)I was actually a really shy person-thats why I've created this 'alter-ego', AlexSabelle-so I can speak my mind.....and get away with it!-LOL!.......
But, seriously, writing under some other 'identity'.......it has been really helpful for me. Cuz now,Im not THAT shy anymore, but Im taking lil' baby steps to overcome my shyness(...its that even a word?....WTV......)....
Ok,"my point is..........?"...That it doesnt matter what you're scared of, you have to face your fears, and try as hard as you can to overcome that fear, cuz otherwise, you will never accomplish anything in life!-harsh, but true!.(Trust me, you will be thankful in the future, si I'll give you a 'futuristic you're welcome'!).
So go ahead, START LIVING!. It is ok, even normal to be scared of something(or someone), but having the courage(or the power)to overcome that fear....it makes you stronger each day, and maybe someday you'll realize how much of an idiot you were for being such a pus*y!......JK!!!!!!!!!!!.
~ alex.
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